<3
djfksjfskdfksdjf poem?
You have stripped me raw
Every ounce of dignity, not a morsel left
And lay there a blank canvas - pale, lifeless
Flirting with love, lust
Such a dangerous game
My vulnerabilities now in the palm of your hand, unable to move
You’re fascinated
Fascinated with the idea of control
Of someone holding you so close
But distance
I reach
My hand barely reaches you, and then it’s back at my side
Exhausting game
You’re almost close enough
But still an emotionless look
Painted across your pale skin
Terrifying, the way love works
A tug too far and they’re gone
Yet not close enough, you’re left wondering
Caught in a maze
Longing for your arms around me
To make the walls you’ve built crumble
And I’ll catch every piece with such delicacy
The way you’ve handled my heart
In the palm of your hand
(Source: victimofmymind)
it’s exhausting feeling vulnerable all the time. having that constant feeling like i’m involving myself in your life too much or i’m occupying too much of your precious time. don’t get me wrong, i’m aware that you don’t try to make me feel that way but i do. everyday. i’m terrified of smothering you or allowing you to see deeper into my mind than i had originally planned which will essentially just allow you to take advantage of me. maybe i’m being silly who knows
i’ve noticed that simplest of words and effortlessly formed sentences can so easily serve as a common feeling that so many people either have or are longing for. “i’m trying” or “help” they’re both so simple in wording but so complex in feeling. not even sure if this post makes any kind of sense just trying to explain what i’ve been thinkin
i wan’t to take everything that i’ve brought upon myself in the past, every useless argument i’ve created in relationships, and especially the inevitable outcome that never fails to present itself - a ending with out closure. i wan’t to take that and use that as drive to form together this so called “ideal” relationship with the one person that means more than anything. instead, i sulk and drown myself in every possible wrong that has happened in my relationship. i repeat over and over in my head the pathway to a healthy relationship and then when the situation or argument presents itself, or i present it to my relationship, i lose every single train of thought i’ve been pondering and go to the same old ways. the worst part is the time wasted, time that could and should be spent towards embracing a wonderful relationship is wasted longing for something better than what’s already in the palm of my hands. it’s not a matter of being grateful, it’s simply me being blind. blind to this human being that is willing to do anything to be with me, the person that i’ve been anxious to have a beautiful relationship with is right in front of me - every aspect leading to that relationship is at my feet. it’s impossible for someone to believe and have faith in the idea of me changing my ways when time and time again the same situation is there, and the same raging argument follows. but i’ve realized i can’t continue to penalize the person i love and the relationship i’ve been blessed with because i’m scared and envious of certain people and things. it’s exhausting losing your own game and i don’t want to play anymore. i will take every fiber of my being and make this relationship the one i’ve had the possibility to have for so long but never fully pieced together really, at all. being “damaged” is a privilege in the way that it can inspire people to truly never let things get as horrible as they were before. it’s a point every person has to reach in their lives at some point in order to take what has bruised them and turn into something beautiful.
(Source: victimofmymind)
It’s funny how you can come in contact with certain people various times in your life with out even giving them a second glance, never noticing anything particularly special or intriguing about them. And then some time later, with out hardly realizing, that person becomes the main focus in your life. The reason that you look forward to the day ahead of you and the sole reason you can get through the day sometimes. When I saw you, at first, I hadn’t the slightest clue that we were ever going to even converse with each other. My initial thought was that you were cute but there wasn’t anything there that left me wanting more because, well, you didn’t seem to want anything. Then when the opportunity for us to talk presented itself so unexpectedly yet so frequently this year, everything changed. In such a beautiful way, too. I didn’t know by just looking at you that you were such a sweet, caring human being because quite frankly, I don’t think you want to be seen that way. But that’s ok, because I know you’re like that and I know you care more than you’d like to admit. You’re the most important person in so many peoples lives and I wish that was more expressed to you. Nevertheless, you are. Especially to your little brother, you are the coolest most amazing person in that kids life so please don’t ever forget that. You really do not give yourself enough credit for being such a perfect human being. And if there isn’t such thing as a “perfect” human being, you’re hands down the closest thing to it. Don’t ever forget that. Don’t think that because things are rough at home that it’s your fault or that you could be doing better. You’re you and that enough to make anyone love you. I know you’re scared that I’m going to leave you and I’m still trying to piece together exactly why you think that but listen - I have loved you for a while now. I don’t care if it sounds silly, I know what I feel and I’m very comfortable with expressing that to you. I love you so much and I will not leave unless you ask me to. Promise. Everything that you feel for me, I feel for you times a million. I will stay by your side as long as you want me and I want you to accept that and be happy. Stop worrying because you are so much more than enough for me and you always have been and always will be. I can’t even imagine myself with another person, and i truly believe that I will never share the connection I have with you with anyone else, even if you left me. Baby, I love you. To the moon and back - forever<3
(Source: victimofmymind)
i always used to
see couples and hate it, now i’m one of the couples that make other people sick and i love it hehehe
so iffy about posting this
Love scares the shit out of me. The idea of devoting my feelings, my day, myself in general to build a relationship with another human being with out any absolute promise that the person with me in the moment is going to be there when I wake up in the morning terrifies me. It seems silly to try so hard in a relationship that chances are, won’t last because in love there’s no promises but that could never keep me away. I can’t imagine living a life with out feeling any genuine emotions towards another person, with out even longing for someone else nonetheless. Of course like anything else there’s that chance of losing that person to someone else or it simply not working the way you planned and that kills. No matter how happy you are, it’s going to be there in the back of your mind and you’re going to have to imagine your life with out that person but that should only serve as another reason to ensure that the time you’re spending together is the best it can possibly be. The overwhelming and wide spectrum of emotions that you get when you have feelings for someone is worth the risk in my opinion. Waking up and thinking about that person before you even think about your day ahead and then going to sleep with that same person on your mind. That feeling where you know that you could talk to as many other people as you wanted but at the end of the day, only one of those people make you feel the way that you feel right now. When you’re so undeniably in love with that person that everyone around you notices it simply by watching the way your face lights up when you see each other. Most importantly, it’s knowing that no matter what - you take that persons flaws and turn them into something positive because you can’t imagine not waking up with that person next to you anymore. I’m so happy that I am able to say I feel every single one of those things everyday. I can’t guarantee that this relationship will even last until tomorrow but I can promise that I will make the best of it because the risk of loving someone else is worth it when you know you have that other person.
“i can’t even grasp my feelings for you”
possibly the most simple yet meaningful thing someone has said to me in a while
figured out what i want as my tattooooo
i want the quote “our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we touch” in cursive somewhere near my hand/wrist. this quote means so much to me for several reasons
